erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need water and some morals
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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