You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize