I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
