it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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