Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
