As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he fucked my hip out of place.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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