She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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