oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
