There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the condom got lost in my hair
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
