I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
