I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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