i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
