He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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