I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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