New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
