capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
