Me. At least after what I've been through.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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