just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
