Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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