I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
