Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
