i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
