we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
