She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
