I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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