great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
