Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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