fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
