spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
