I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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