Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
