i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
