I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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