I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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