I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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