you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
