If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
