so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
