Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
