My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
