SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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