we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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