Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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