I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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