I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
