He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
