Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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