You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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