So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Randomize
