I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
